It didn’t take long for me to find someone new to chat with. Roger came along and he was nice enough, but claimed to be separated. I’ve experienced that song and dance before, but he told me his story about “irreconcilable differences” and it felt honest enough, so I continued to chat with him. Besides, it was nice to be referred to as “beautiful” and “pretty” on a daily basis. I decided to give him my phone number and told him that the ball was in his court. What followed, was radio silence.
Right about the same time, an interesting fellow from my home town chimed in on the website. Peter came off as being a bit hyper, but he was interesting and humorous to write with. It was like writing to an old school chum because we had gone to the same high school, but 4 years apart. We knew many of the same teachers and some of the same students. We shared common memories of the neighborhood, it was like old school week. Because of the similar histories, we hit it off from the get go, it felt familiar and comforting. He shared with me that he was Greek and was the only son and had three sisters which made him more in tune with women.
I decided to give Peter my phone number and our first conversation lasted for 2 hours. Not because we had so much to talk about our high school experiences, but because we had a lot of sexual experiences in common as well. However, his stories went way deeper and darker than mine. He told me very intimate details about ex-wives and ex-lovers, much more, than I being the freak that I am, was comfortable with. At one point, he commented that he didn’t know why he was telling me all of this and I responded, that I’m the kind of person people find easy to talk to. He said that he was “different” than most men and more understanding of a woman’s needs and desires. Some of the things he spoke of made me wonder about his sexuality, but he proclaimed that he had never lay with a man. Who talks like that? I’m mean, really? Who says something like that, but hasn’t given it serious consideration. No matter, I found him interesting and so we set a plan in motion to meet.
I had told Peter my story about all the lies and deception I had experienced with my previous relationship, so he sent me images of all of his credentials. He wanted me to know he was who he said he was and did what he said he did. I also explained that having been married to a man with addictions, I was not interested in spending time with that type of person again. He shared with me that he had severe back issues and was prescribed medicinal marijuana. I thought for a moment and decided that since it was medicinal, I could be okay with that.
About the same time, I had a tarot card reading that said that I would have multiple men vying for my attention. True to the reading, before it even ended, I received a text message from Roger. I guess he finally decided to play ball with me and we had a very nice time texting that night, volleying flirts and sexual innuendos. Shortly thereafter, we set to meet on Wednesday.
Wednesday came and I was ready to meet up with Roger when I received word from Peter, he wanted to meet that day as well. I flipped a coin and decided to meet with Peter. I sent Roger a text message explaining that I had a change of plans. He was having a schedule challenge that day anyway, so I thought it was for the best. What I didn’t realize was that I had already set a coffee date with a friend. When she sent me a text wondering where I was, I apologized and told her that I was going on a date. She wished me luck and I set out to meet Peter for lunch.
When I got to the restaurant, I sat on the outside dining patio and waited. I tend to be early, but he was also running late. He hadn’t told me that he didn’t have a car and he was taking the bus and walking, which he informed me of through text updates on his arrival. So I sat and waited, but I wasn’t nervous in the least. I had a feeling he was not going to be a match for me, but I was curious to meet him and have a chat. When he arrived, he looked older than I thought he should, a bit disheveled, but clean. His clothes seemed to be too big for his stature, I found out later that he had lost 60 lbs. He wore glasses and had both ears pierced and his hair was shaven on the sides and long on top, a mohawk-like look. Actually, he looked like the kind of punk rock guy I wish I had dated in high school, but never had the opportunity.
We were at a local Italian restaurant, cash only. I offered to help with payment and he said he would appreciate that. He was currently an unemployed computer guy, so I figured it may be nice of me to at least offer. I didn’t mind paying my own way, no sense of debt, but I really thought he would decline. I guest that’s the modern way of going on a date, dutch treat. Our conversation went well for a while, but then he started on the history lessons of the mafia influence in Berwyn. Peter’s second wife had been a mafia daughter. Or was it the first wife? You see, he rattled off so much information about everything all the time, I should have been taking notes because what I didn’t realize was, that there was going to be a test, numerous tests and I just couldn’t absorb all he was saying ALL THE TIME!
I informed Peter that I had not only broke one date, but two that day so I could meet with him. He remarked that he was being a bad influence on me already and proposed that we go somewhere for coffee. We left the restaurant and headed to the neighborhood Dunkin Donuts. Peter was really into drinking coffee, all the time like most computer guys are. We drove around the neighborhood pointing out where he had lived and different points of common interest. I really don’t recall what I was speaking of, but I suppose it was sexual in nature because he remarked that what I was saying led him to believe that he should proposition me. I thought for a moment and agreed. I did have the house to myself for a few hours, why not? After all, we were both consenting single adults and I do enjoy an afternoon delight, so I headed to the house.
Once again, I wasn’t nervous at all. In fact, I felt like I was being a naughty teenager who skipped school to fool around with her boyfriend while her parents were at work. I did however send my son who lives with me a text message letting him know that I had company, a sock on the doorknob if you will. Peter on the other hand, was nervous. He had not planned for this to happen, but he went along for the ride just the same. He was kind, he was gentle and kept telling me how beautiful I was, which was nice to hear. Everything was going well, but then there was a performance issue. He stated that he needed to get used to me. Huh? I’ve never heard that one before. He said that because of the mental abuse he experienced from previous lovers, he had some issues to work on. Okay? He ended up having to take care of himself in my presence, a bit awkward, but I knew he was different from the get go, so I lay there quietly until the deed was done.
Afterwards, we just laid there in each other’s arms. I think that was the best part. I really had been missing the intimacy one experiences when in a relationship. I had once been told that it was easy to find someone to have sex with, but it was not so easy to find someone to have a relationship with. Back in the day, I couldn’t find either, but things had changed and now I was yearning for a relationship like the one I thought I had, but for real this time. I wasn’t willing to tolerate anymore lies. I could compromise on many situations, but no more lies.
It was amazing how close I felt to this man almost immediately. Odds are it was due to the commonalities of our youth, but I felt safe, I felt cared for and I felt comfortable in my own skin. No shame about my weight or anything else for that matter. I felt secure in all aspects of myself and that, was priceless. Realizing the time, we headed downstairs where we bumped into my son. Once again, I felt like a naughty teenager as I introduced him to my “new friend”. It was a little awkward, but not really. I announced that I was going to drive Peter to the train, thus ending the first date of what would prove to be a very intense relationship.
To be continued…
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