I’ve been listening to this no nonsense weight loss guru and I really like what she has to say. I believe she is more of a life coach than a nutritionist, which is exactly what I need. I know what I need to do to lose weight, I just having been willing to do it.
When I went to my primary health care physician earlier this week, I was hoping she would be able to help me delve into my thyroid health. Unfortunately, because western medicine has limited scopes due to licensing regulations, she could not give me the blood test I was hoping for, but offered some suggestions. She is a petite Indian woman who possibly has never had to worry about weight gain her entire life. She asked me what I was eating. I responded, “Real food.” “Okay, but what are you eating?” she asked once more. Possibly, for the first time in my life, I was embarrassed to answer the question. I thought to myself with pride that I usually eat a meat and potato diet, that’s how my mother raised us. I like pizza, tacos, gyros, hamburgers, … FUCK! What the hell is wrong with me? I didn’t utter a word to her. Instead, I may have actually hung my head in shame.
I have been adamant about not changing what I eat, probably my whole life. I have tried so many diets and yes, I will lose weight for a moment and then it comes right back on. Why? Because the entire time I change my eating patterns I feel starved, deprived, punished. I have seen so many thin people, who don’t even exercise eat the same things I eat and they don’t gain weight, why me? Why am I being punished? I can go on and on about my genetics, my hypothyroidism, and battling menopause, but the fact remains it has more to do about my stinkin’ thinkin’ than anything else.
I listened to the weight loss guru’s podcast today and she commented about how she does this Facebook live broadcast. It is free to anyone who wants to listen, something she very much emphasized, it’s FREE! Yet, there are those who chose to leave negative comments about what she has to say and how she is saying it. Guess what? You can change the channel. If you don’t like what is being said, don’t listen. I totally agree with this statement. I see so much on social media that I don’t agree with so guess what, I stop reading those comments. So, why don’t I do the same thing when it comes to my stinkin’ thinkin’?
It’s time for me to change the channel in my head. Last night, after seeing my therapist with whom I had discussed the subject matter with, I decided to reach out to Marcus who had left a nice comment on a Facebook posting of mine that referred to my writing skills. I really wanted to tell him about my blog page. I haven’t thus far out of fear to his response. I started to send him a “Like” request and then I stopped myself. I didn’t want to send it without an explanation and I couldn’t figure out how to do that on Facebook, so I sent him a text message first. I thanked him for his kind words and let him know that I had actually been publishing my writing since August on a blog. He assumed that I was writing erotica once again and wanted the link so he may enjoy it. When I corrected him that I was actually writing about my thoughts or whatever I was interested in at the time he said, “Ooh nice. Can I stop by you tonight?” I could have easily said yes, but I didn’t. I don’t want to be a booty call, not now, maybe never again, I don’t know, but …yeah, no.
The main thing I noticed is that once I told him that what I was writing about was my stories to be told, something much more meaningful to me, he didn’t ask me for the blog link again. He just wanted to come over and keep me warm. Nice, but no. It’s not what I really want anymore. It had been, I was all about a quick fix to help me get over the whole John thing, but I’m kind of done with that. No, I want more. I want someone who actually cares about me and to be supportive of the work I’m doing. Hey, I know, maybe that someone is me. Of course, it would be wonderful to find an attractive man who is willing to do the same for me, but first and foremost, it needs to be me.
I need to change the channel in my head. I need to stop believing that society dictates my opinions about myself. It’s sort of like that old Al Franken character on SNL used to say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Well, not everyone is going to like me, their loss. However, I need to like me and right now, I don’t like my current health situation so it is up to me to change it. No one is going to do it for me, but there are folks who can guide me and maybe offer some suggestions, but at the end of the day, it’s all on me.
Using this guru’s “realistic daily plan”, I have already noticed a pattern. It asks, “If I want to try something new tomorrow, it will be…” and I keep writing, “Eat more vegetables.” So, I have reached out to someone I think can help me come up with delicious recipes to fit my needs. My primary care doctor would be proud, she recommended a plant based diet. Fuck that shit, I’m a meat eater, but I need to eat more vegetables just the same. If I can do it in a tasty way that is convenient for my silly schedule, I can make that happen.
I can do this. I can change the channel. Ooo, I wonder what will be playing tomorrow?
2 Comments
Leave your reply.