Why is it easier to write when I’m angry or sad? Sometimes I think alcohol consumption spurs my creativity, but I don’t want that to become a habit. It may mean missing the proverbial creative boat, but I’d rather keep as many healthy brain cells as I can, not to mention a functioning liver.
With the hot weather we’ve been having, I have increased my water consumption. I knew I required more support, so I began to add trace mineral drops to my water. A few drops in each water bottle, that’s it. I didn’t realize it at first, I was thinking that maybe I was just having a good day or there was some planetary alignment involved, but no, I think it was the minerals.
I had heard about the plethora of health benefits from proper mineral intact, but this seems insane. I’ve only been doing this for the past four days, in very small amounts, is it possible to experience almost immediate results? I don’t know, I am not a nutritionist, but I’m going to keep doing them because I feel amazing! I’m actually feeling so calm and confident, it’s worrisome.
Maybe I’m just having a manic episode. Do I have manic episodes? Is it wrong to be so happy? I mean, I was working my butt off, sweating profusely, but I was happy, still am. I should be tired, exhausted actually, but I’m not. Why? Should I be preparing myself for trauma to hit? What’s happening?! I mean, I still don’t have a significant other, I didn’t win the lottery, I’m still fat, so why am I so happy? The peaceful part is very troubling, indeed. Yes, I’ve been working in my garden and that calms my soul, but this much? What’s the trick?
I suppose it could be a combination of factors. Besides the increased mineral intake, a few days ago, I was very grateful to have survived a drive home in tornado warning weather. I chanted the entire time, as I was met with every single red light, “Please let me arrive home safely before the storm hits.” I said out loud, over and over again, but I forgot to include my car in my request to the universe. The rain came pouring down, making it difficult to see, but I spied the downed tree branch in the street. I flashed my headlights at the car heading towards me, uncertain if I was signaling them to go first or more correctly that I was going through. “I’m going for it; I can’t stop now!” is what I thought as my car noisily plowed over the obstruction. Did I just kill my car? Did I just scratch the hell out of it or worse yet, tare open the undercarriage? I kept going out of fear that the forecasted golf ball sized hail would get me next, but it didn’t, it never came.
I was very grateful for that, but more so for the folks that reached out to me, that had seen that I may be in the line of danger and wanted to know if I was okay. My cousin that lives in another state and an old school chum that I thought hated me all those years ago, were the ones who were worried about me. Huh. Truly a blessing to have such love in my life. Not a lifetime commitment type of love, not an unconditional love from a puppy, no, I think it’s something deeper than that. I’m not certain what to name it, but I’m very glad it’s there.
I let my brother know that I had two days off in a row, and asked if he was interested in coming for a visit. He did and we had a very nice time doing something close to nothing, but we were doing it together. However, before he arrived, I excitedly showed my neighbor the sign I had made for my garden. I held it up on my garage door asking him how it looked. He thought it was okay, but would look better on the brick wall. I held it up there and was in total agreement, but I didn’t know how I would be able to tackle the hanging of something on a brick wall. I told him that my brother was coming and maybe he would be able to help me. My neighbor said, that if my brother wasn’t able to, that he would help me. I felt like I was being proposed to, what a sweet gesture.
My brother was able to help me and it was a memorable experience. We looked through my dad’s old tools, trying to find what we would need to drill into the brick’s mortar. I told my brother that I feel like dad is still helping me, by usually having what I need somewhere in this mess. Mom too, whether it be a kitchen tool from way back when or an odd colored thread in her sewing box, needed to sew back on a button, mom is still helping me. Family is a special kind of love. Through all the challenges of growing and living under the same roof, a bond is formed that transcends space and time. As the years roll on, the anger and disappointments fade away, and what’s left, is love.
After my brother departed, I did a little more work in the yard under the high noon sun, but I was fine. I drank more water with a few drops of trace minerals, put on sun screen and donned a worn hat, one that I think makes me look like a farmer. The afternoon shade, of the trees my mother grew from seed over 40 years ago, fell over the patio and I decided that I was done working for the day. Such beautiful weather to get more done, but the work will be there tomorrow and the next day, so I decided to sit in my swinging chair and take in the peacefulness of my garden. I have an elderly next-door neighbor that was visited by her daughter. It’s nice that she visits, but it’s for such a short period of time. It’s really none of my business, but I’m glad that I was able to do more than that for my dad.
Swaying back and forth in my shaded sanctuary, I managed to fall asleep. I know I did, because my own snoring woke me up. There I was, sitting in my chair, contemplating my reality and as my backyard chimes began to sing, I wondered if I could manage to write something today. I mean, how would I do it knowing full well that I was feeling so rested and peaceful? Not a care in the world, at least for the moment. I have a comfortable home, plenty of food, clean clothes to wear and most importantly, a bounty of people who love me, in one way or another. What could I possibly write about on such a glorious day?
Trace minerals? Gratitude? Love? I hope this dubious combination has not bored you while reading. Who knows, maybe there will be a planetary shift and I will be sad or angry tomorrow. Until then, I think I will go back outside to my groovy garden, to lose my mind and find my soul.
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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