The changing of my pacemaker batteries went well and the rewiring of my home is almost complete. No surprises were had with my heart procedure, a few minor surprises with the rewiring of the house, but I was surprised to find myself enlightened by this morning’s conversation with the electrician.
Over the past week, we have shared a number of life stories and sagas with one another which led me to make this statement to him today. I said, “My advice, is to do what is good for you.” This led to a conversation about the “Laws of Attraction”. He was familiar with the term and surprisingly so, he enlightened me. I had been speaking about how one’s statement needed to be a positive one. Instead of stating, “I don’t want an alcoholic in my life.” I needed to say, “I want a man in my life that embraces sobriety.” This is where the enlightenment occurred. He told me, that actually, I needed to change my statement from “want” to “have”. Otherwise, the universe hears that I have a desire for perpetual want and I will never achieve my desire.
This was something I knew, but kind of forgot. Huh? And then, I had another thought, was I really ready to have, not just want a man in my life? I haven’t felt that way in a very, very long time, if ever. Am I actually ready to have a man in my life? In all honesty, I’ve been rewatching the TV series Mad Men and I would think the answer would be no. However, if a man does exist that meets my list of desires…that could prove to be interesting.
I couldn’t find my original list that I wrote many moons ago, but I did find the one I had updated and used in my blog titled, What I Want in a Man. I began to edit out all the “What I wants” and changed the tense to represent his presence in my life currently. I found the process to be rather interesting. There were several items that used to be so very important to me that I either eliminated or toned down, while giving others more importance. There were a couple that I updated that I’m most certain my grade school chum will appreciate, ones that gave myself more self-worth.
This is what I came up with:
The man in my life is loving, honest and respectful to me, my family and friends.
He speaks to me with kindness and respect at all times.
He makes me a priority in his life.
He understands my needs, wants and desires and does his best to help me to achieve them.
He is willing to share his needs, wants and desires and allows me to help him to achieve them.
He adores me and is for the most part, compatible with me inside and outside of the bedroom. He is my best friend who I just so happen to have incredible sex with.
He respects my privacy, my infrequent need to be alone and views my mood swings as a cherished part of what makes me who I am.
He understands and respects my strong bonds to my family as well as my friends and is not threatened by these relationships.
He willingly goes out of his way to be with me, looks forward to being with me and is at my side in my times of need.
He relishes my personality, is proud of me and proud to be with me.
He has a good sense of humor and is willing to play with me.
He is someone who dances with me even when there is no music, because we make our own.
He is willing to share his deepest thoughts, fears and joys with me without hesitation.
Our relationship is built on honesty, trust and compassion.
He earns a solid, honest income and is financially capable of supporting himself.
He thinks I am the sexiest, most beautiful woman he has ever known.
He admires my intelligence and kindness as well as my wit and charm.
He is intelligent and worldly, yet humble.
He is mentally, physically and spiritually strong enough to walk beside me, not in front of me, nor behind.
He embraces sobriety and physical health, but enjoys a finely crafted beverage and meal as much as I do.
He embraces the skills to update our household needs and desires or willingly hires the best person to do the job for us.
He embraces my writing skills and encourages me to expand my horizons.
Many of the ideas remain the same, but I figured, why not add the ones that really make my heart sing. When I was a teenager, I had a terrible crush on Bob Villa from This Old House. I have always been fascinated with architecture and interior design. For years, I have believed that I will meet my dream man at Home Depot, I just don’t hang out there enough, so I added the “skills to update our household needs and desires” thingy.
Please note the emphasis on honesty and trust, nonnegotiable. I simply cannot go down that path…again! Three times is not a charm, it would only do irreversible harm. As I poured myself a second glass of wine, I wondered if my list was missing something very important. Of course, he will enjoy being home, my favorite place to be, but enjoy outside adventures as well. He indulges my addictions to pink flamingos, palm trees and pineapples as well as solar lights. He may not understand the compulsions, but nevertheless, he embraces the joy they bring me. Most importantly, he respects the relationships I have with my kids, they are the air that I breathe.
I’m certain that I am forgetting something, if you have any thoughts, please share them with me. I’m always intrigued by what others deem vital to life, love and happiness. We all come from a variety of environments, challenges and traditions. What may be so very important to you, I may have never even considered, simply due to my life’s experiences.
So there, I’m putting it out to the universe, I have a man in my life. Now, if I only knew what his name is.
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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