Respect

It has been a month since I have written.  Not because life has been so honky dory, I have totally shared my morning rants with my work mentor and senior therapist, but then, the moment passes.  As the day’s work accumulates, I tend to forget about what has been troubling me.  What seemed so importantly huge, slips to the back of my mind, but then…

Something will trigger the splinter in my brain, something like a piss poor driver who thinks the world revolves around them or even worse, a poorly remodeled bungalow!  Yes, you read that correctly.  I was driving along, minding my own business when suddenly, my head whipped to the left and my eye caught it, a grotesquely updated bungalow, right by my house!  When the hell did this happen?  Who allowed such a horrific tragedy to occur?  This must have just happened because I have not noticed it until now.  However, upon looking up the address online, I discovered that this atrocity occurred over a year ago when the home was last sold.  I can only surmise that my subconscious has been protecting me all this time because I pass this bungalow on almost a daily basis. 

What the fuck is wrong with people?  Why would you do that to such a beautiful piece of architecture?  Even worse, are the folks that purchase an amazing MCM home and strip it of its timely beauty.  If you did not like MCM architecture, why did you buy the home in the first place?  Respect!  Where has all the respect gone in this world?

This has been the reoccurring theme of my morning rants.  Customers, loved ones, fellow commuters, I’ve been bombarded with a lack of respect as of late, but I realized that I have been the worst offender.  I have been completely lacking respect of myself by allowing the customers, loved ones and fellow commuters to bombard me with a lack of respect and do nothing to defend myself.  I think that is why seeing, truly seeing the remodeled bungalow set me off!  I completely lost it, in that moment, I was a raving lunatic and my work mentor has the voicemail to prove it.

As I shake my second martini, I realize that there have been recent moments where I have maybe not stood up for myself, but I have definitely spoken my mind.  In a nutshell, I have been training a new manager for another store and while in a meeting with the district manager, I suggested the move that should take place.  I also managed to slip in my disappoints with other members of our community, but the main thing is, I said what I wanted to say and I said it with confidence.  I am very proud to announce, that I was heard, and the move I suggested is happening.  Can you feel me sitting up straight, shoulders back, sipping my second martini with blue cheese stuffed olives right now?

I have managed to take off three days in a row, which I am enjoying at this very moment.  All you 9 to 5-ers have no idea what I’m talking about, but you retail folk, completely understand my giddiness as I left the building to begin my three day vaca.  I usually don’t even get two days off in a row, let alone 3, hot damn, I’m living the high life right now!  I’m running errands, eating out, and I even got me a massage.  Long story short, my physical health has been challenged as of late and since I am not one to raise my hand for surgery or injections, I was very happy to feel some sort of relief when I left the massage therapist’s office.  I even fell asleep on her table, no surprise because the pain I have been experiencing in my hands has not allowed me a good night’s sleep in quite some time. 

The hands, the back…I won’t go into details, but I was begging for death in late December.  All the tests that I can have (no MRI for the pacemaker kid) and everything in-between, have left me tired, weak and despondent.  Oh yeah, for the record, in a nut shell the test results all pointed to one thing, I’m old.  Needless to say, I will not go down without a fight and thankfully, I can still type like a mother, especially while intoxicated!

Ah yes, nothing to write about and yet I have managed to fill more than a page on my laptop.  I hope I’ve actually written something of worth, something I can look back at and feel respect for.  Respect, it’s so hard to come by these days.  Everyone thinks they are so much more important than everyone else, don’t even get me started about the parking situation at work, my goodness people, grow up!!!  It’s time some folks realized that it’s not all about them, end of story.

And. I’m just going to end this little ditty with a thought about architecture.  I get it, I do, folks want brand spankin’ new.  I would love to find a MCM home with all the updated amenities, like plumbing, electrical, heating and OMG, I would totally love central AC!  However, please leave the kitchen cabinets, breeze blocks, and all that is holy about the MCM home intact!  If it needs updating, I get it, but if not, please respect all that it is or just walk away.  Please, for the love of God, please walk away and let it be its glorious self.  Respect all that it was intended to be and leave it for someone to come along and love it, just as it is.  Sort of like me, just leave me alone.  I am, what I am…  All that I ask, is please respect who I am, flaws and all, or just walk away.

#thelieswechoosetolivewith