Another milestone birthday. At least this time, I didn’t end up in the ER. Oh, ten years ago, I had a party for a milestone birthday, one I was very happy to celebrate because I had received an emergency pacemaker 3 months prior. It was a very hot summer day and I had a huge pot of shrimp boil simmering outside in the garage. A nice group of friends had gathered for the celebration, two of them quarreling about how one of them had allowed me to need an emergency pacemaker, “It was your turn to watch her.” I recall being said, a sign of love, I suppose. Pitchers of a cocktail known as Skip and Run Naked flowed to all the thirsty partyers, me being one of them. I felt fine, especially when a Bossa Nova musician arrived to serenade me with my favorite song, The Girl from Ipanema. It was a good day to die, but that was not my intention.
Midnight rolled around and I called it a night. I got naked, the influence of the cocktail, I suppose, and climbed into bed. I really don’t remember what happened next, but I do remember that when John the Pilot came up to bed, I couldn’t speak, only whisper. I grabbed him by the shirt collar and told him to call 911. Long story short, they arrived, after mistakenly going to the house down the block first, and got me to the ER, only to discover that I was drunk and mildly dehydrated. Of course, they kept me overnight for observation, due to the newly implanted pacemaker, but I was fine. Embarrassed, but fine.
A lot has happened in the ten years that followed that dubious night, but I’ve made it and I’ve managed to reached another milestone birthday. Taking a cue from a friend who educated me about her birthday rule, I claim the entire month of July for my birthday, to provide ample time for celebrating and gift giving. I accomplished much merriment this year and managed to stay out of the hospital. Along the way, I realized that it was time to not only get a new eyeglass prescription, but dental work and rotator cuff surgery, where add to the menu. I have had the arduous task of scheduling multiple doctor appointments, in an attempt, to put back together the pieces of me that are falling apart. I kept thinking about that movie Death Becomes Her, as I scheduled and rescheduled numerous tests, pre-op appointments, dental and eye doctor appointments (side note: I’ve been seeing the same eye doctor since I was 18. He looks tired).
I’ve been watching YouTube videos about what to expect after the rotator cuff surgery. Needless to say, I have become quite despondent, but I’m happy to report that I have ordered the wedge pillow that everyone single video mentions. Even a dear friend told me that I needed one, so Amazon to the rescue! I have ordered special ice packs and picked up specific toiletries to aid in my life as a one-armed bandit. The best investment so far, has been the steering wheel knob, so handy, especially backing into the garage. However, I think the best tip I’ve learned was from my 75-year-old lady friend who used it while recovering from elbow surgery. I am happy to report that I now put my bra on by stepping into an already clasped garment and pull it up into its rightful position, hallelujah!
Today, I had the first part of my dental work done. It never ceases to amaze me how much I will tolerate. I simply sat there, numb faced, and allowed this man to take a drill to my tooth. I wasn’t prepared to have another tooth removed to save a buck, so I dished out the tidy sum and said, “Let’s do this!” in hopes of not becoming the toothless wonder I may become one day. While I was sitting in the dentist chair, my eye doctor’s office called to let me know that my new glasses were ready for pick up. Thursday, before going to work, I will go to my primary care physician for my first scheduled pre-op clearance. The list goes on and on, but in a few weeks, I will be receiving my rotator cuff surgery. It involves a couple of anchors and rubber bands to pull my shoulder back together. Oh, what fun it is reaching another milestone birthday. I know, I know, I am very grateful to have this opportunity that many before me have not had. I don’t mean to sound morbid, but my affairs are in order and my children have been given their directives and handed the paperwork. I do not want to live, if my life is that of constant care. Odds are, I will be fine, just another chapter of pain and anguish that will shape my character into a more awesome human being, right? Right!
I am truly blessed to have lived as long as I have without major pause. All that I have endured has made me the person I am, and I am grateful for every excruciating moment because they allow me to appreciate my moments of pure joy. Like today, today is my baby’s birthday! This baby has grown to be a person of worth who has offered and will be with me for my surgery. My other child has already told his employer that he will need to start his shifts later, due to making certain I’m okay before my mole-man heads off to work nights after my surgery. I am truly blessed to have co-workers saying that they are willing to come and help me, if need be, after only working with them for six months, how amazing is that? Yes, I am truly blessed to have known great pain and great joy in this lifetime. Both have allowed me to become a person that others willingly offer assistance to, in my time of need.
Maybe, just maybe mind you, the bits and pieces of me falling apart, the bits and pieces they can repair, are allowing me to recognized how truly blessed I am. Maybe, just maybe mind you, it has been a very happy birthday, one for the record books. I’m well past the half way mark, something that truly terrifies me, but it’s been a good life. Let’s see what the next 30 to 40 years hold for me. I’ll keep you posted.
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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