In the 70’s there was a TV show called Baretta. It was a cop show and part of the theme song stated, “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” As of late, I’ve been wondering, what crime have I committed? I’ve been homebound for 3 weeks and 2 days, due to my rotator cuff surgery. I honestly thought I would be able to return to work, albeit in a sling, but able to return in 2 weeks’ time. That did not come to pass. Instead, I have been sentenced to 8 weeks without being able to drive or return to work. On top of that, due to a nerve being pinched during the surgery, I am having a very difficult time walking. Over the years, I have been losing my ability to walk well, but now I’m at an all-time low, sloth-like pace, that is not only taxing on my limbs, but my heart as well. Before the surgery, I had managed to increase my walking distance, at a very slow, but respectable pace, to one mile. Now, I can do fractions of a mile. I’ve been keeping track: September 17th, .1 mile – 12 minutes; September 23rd, .3 mile – 14 minutes; and yesterday, .4 mile – 11 minutes. I’m improving, but the idea of me taking a casual walk is not on my agenda.
While working with my physical therapist, he mentioned that he is currently taking me through 3 of the 4 moves I will need to be able to do well before I am able to drive again. I was told that the 4th movement, according to doctor’s orders, is not to be attempted till week 6 of my recovery. My heart sank, I really thought that I was doing well enough that I may be able to convince my PT to make a phone call to my surgeon, suggesting that I be released early for good behavior. Hearing that news made me have serious doubts of me even being able to shave days, let alone weeks, off my sentence. Needless to say, depression began to set in. Along with sleepless nights, and feeling trapped, I haven’t been doing very well. However, I’m not one to give up that easily.
During the past 3 weeks and 2 days, I haven’t showered much. I will only attempt to do so while someone is at home with me, just in case something was to happen. Today, I just didn’t feel like taking a shower, but olfactory senses told me that I needed to bathe. I proceeded to take a “birdbath” as my father used to say and while doing so, I realized that in the past 3 weeks and 2 days, I’ve become a bit of a hairy beast. I thought to myself, “who cares”, but I care and so with slow methodical moves, I not only managed to shave my armpits, but my legs as well. Doing so, gave me a new sense of accomplishment that lightened my mood. So much so, that I also managed to accomplish some much-needed housework. Having done all of that, I worked up an appetite. I have a well-stocked fridge, freezer, and pantry, but I really wanted to indulge on something more. I am very fortunate that I live in an area were within a short walking distance, I have a plethora of parks, shops, and services. I haven’t had Chinese food in a while, how far away are they? As it turns out, .2 miles, so round trip would be .4 miles, a distance I could accomplish, if I put my mind to it.
I called and placed an order. To my surprise, prices have doubled since my last visit, but no matter, I was a woman with a mission and damn it, I’m worth it! With a headstrong positive attitude, I set forth on my journey to walk .2 miles to my destination. Even though I was huffing and puffing, my stride felt strong. I have no idea how long it took me to get there, but it wasn’t as arduous a journey as I expected it to be. I caught my breathe and began the second leg of my journey. Even though it was only 73 degrees outside, sweat was pouring down my brow. With the sun in my eyes, I pressed forward, each step becoming more difficult than the last, but I had to keep moving. Yards from home, I had to momentarily stop to stretch. My home was in sight, although, it did look like a mirage during that momentary pause, I knew I would reach my destination. A cool autumn breeze caressed my face, urging me to keep moving forward. Climbing the front porch stairs, with the plastic bag that held my coveted meal firmly clasped in hand, I unlocked the door and gently tumbled inside. I had made it! My .4 mile quest, completed.
I delved into my feast like a starved beast, but no longer a hairy beast, who hadn’t eaten in days. Although it was not, the egg roll tasted like the best one I have ever had the pleasure to experience. I carved into the piping hot shrimp egg foo young, uncaring as it burnt my tongue. I enjoyed every mouthful because of my successful journey to procure a take-out meal all on my own, without the plea of getting a ride and without a delivery fee, I felt free! I practically licked the Styrofoam container clean and then reached for the obligatory fortune cookie. What words of wisdom would it hold for me? It was a simply message, but a welcomed one. “A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you.” I can only hope that it will be one from my surgeon congratulating on my speedy recovery and the reduction of my sentence.
I can’t imagine begin home another 5 weeks, especially without the ability to drive my car. Thankfully, the weather has been pleasant and I do love my home and garden. Still, I wonder, what was my crime? Why am I being sentenced to 8 weeks of wearing a sling and no driving? Maybe it’s the 24 plus years of throwing loads of groceries. Maybe it’s the countless bags of soil and rock I have worked to create a garden that brings me joy. Maybe it’s just the fact that I have lived a life of labor and I’m too stubborn to quit even when my body is pleading me to do so. In any case, this is my sentence. What I do with this time, is truly up to me. I can sit here and pout, damning the possibilities of how I came to be here, or I can find a way to be productive and maybe, just maybe mind you, discover the meaning of my life.
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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