Once again, my son has invited his girlfriend and her mother to dinner, this time, it is for Christmas. Thanksgiving went well enough, so it should be fine, but in hopes of avoiding the stress of not having a proper table and tableware, I decided to go shopping. I started by ordering a card table, similar in dimensions to the folding wood one I use as a make shift dining room table. Being a commitment phobe, I prefer having a table I can remove, at a moment’s notice, if I decide I am feeling claustrophobic or, I need more room for plants.
Next, I needed a tablecloth that would cover both tables. This was no easy task and after careful measuring, I felt fairly confident of the size I would need and began to scour the internet, but nothing felt “right”. Then, I realized, if I’m going to invest in a holiday themed tablecloth, I’m going to need tableware to go with it. I’ve always wanted a set of dishes, specific to Christmas, something special that only sees the light of day during the holidays. I made a list and yes, I did check it twice, and headed out to Kohl’s. I had an Amazon return I needed to take there, so what better place to begin my hunt.
I was pleasantly surprised to find all the holiday tableware on sale for 50% off! I began my search with looking at tablecloths. I’m not usually incline to choose something that looks rustic, but WTF, it’s 50% off! I chose a holiday plaid tablecloth and began searching for matching napkins, no luck. However, I did spy a set of dishes and goblets that made me giddy, especially, the salad plate. I could be wrong, but I thought it looked MCM, so I began to fill my cart with plates, salad plates and the nifty green bubble glass goblets that had conveniently displayed with them. I took all they had, but unfortunately, it wasn’t an even count. If they had had 6 of everything, I may have been able to walk away happy, but they didn’t have enough salad plates to make a set of 6. I decided I would ask at the register if they could check another store for inventory. I really liked them, so it would be worth the trip.
Before I headed to the check out, I went looking for throw pillows. A friend of mine got me hooked on this new addiction. I was perfectly fine with my lamp addiction. I mean, one can only own so many lamps without looking like a total freak. One does not switch out their lamps for the holidays, but throw pillows, that’s a whole different story. I found several that called to me, but me, being me, I had to have a theme. I went back and forth, up and down the aisles, looking at clearance items, holiday items, and everyday items. I must have spent at least 30 minutes, if not longer, looking at throw pillows, trying to decide what looked best together. It wasn’t easy, but I finally narrowed it down to 3 and headed for the register.
Once there, I asked about other stores having more salad plates. I had several options, so I planned my journey and headed west. When I arrived at the next Kohl’s, I was amazed at the larger selection they had. I immediately headed for the salad plates and found that they had more than the system said they had. Instead of focusing on a set of 6, I now had a new option, a new goal was set, I’m going to go for 8, but wait, they had more goblets and plates too. Fuck it, let’s shoot for a set of 10! I have another Kohl’s to hit, I can do it! I also was able to find cloth napkins that matched my tablecloth and other decorations that would help make my table setting, even Martha Stewart would be proud of!
Oh, I forgot to mention, I signed up for a new Kohl’s credit card which gave me 40% off my entire purchase for one day. So, everything I was buying was already at 50% off, plus another 40% off, they were basically paying me to take the product off their hands!!! So, I headed to the third Kohl’s on my list. I had a time deadline, I needed to be heading home by 5PM, so I could have my weekly visit with my therapist. No worries, I had plenty of time to make it to the third Kohl’s and complete my set of 10. When I arrived, holy smokes, I hit the motherload! Apparently, the further west one heads, the nicer the stores get. Not only was I able to get the remaining pieces of my Christmas tableware set, I found a set of coasters I could add to my table setting. However, I could only find one set of four, shit! I was beginning to run out of time, so I headed to the register and while I waited in the third long line of my journey, I was able to ask an employee if they were able to tell me if the store had more coasters to be had. He said that they should have two more. I very kindly asked, if it was possible for him to go look for them, since I didn’t want to lose my place in line. He said he would try, understandable considering he was supposed to be working a different department. He didn’t return by the time I reached the register, so I asked the cashier for assistance. I have to say, the employees at all 3 Kohl’s were very kind and helpful, but no coasters were found. However, a fourth Kohl’s had them, maybe I could go there too.
I left the store a bit downtrodden, but I had to head back home so I could meet with my therapist. Of course, I hit traffic, but I was convinced that I would make it home in time for my appointment. If only I didn’t have that appointment, I could head to the fourth Kohl’s and buy more coasters so I would have a complete set. It was a shame I had to head home when the fourth Kohl’s wasn’t that far from where I was, but… While nearing home, it began to snow and I received a text from my therapist. He was apologizing, but he was going to have to cancel our appointment. Shit! If I had known earlier, I could have headed to the fourth Kohl’s and bought the coasters to complete my set. Now I was very near home and it was beginning to snow and with the traffic, should I head back out?
I began to cry. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I driven to have a set of tableware, or most anything for that matter? I decided to call my friend Laura, someone who has talked me off of a cliff more times than I care to recall. I asked her, “What is wrong with me, that I do this?” I used to do it with toys for my kids. It began with the Gargoyle TV show toys, I turned the package over and realized, “There’s a set!” Over the years, the wall of toys grew, all the sets in their own labeled boxes, it wasn’t the kids’ fault, it was me, I bought them all. When my marriage ended, I was obsessed with collecting the dinnerware one could get at a great discount by collecting Dominick’s register tapes. All my friends gave me their receipts and I ended up with a set of 12 and all the accessories. I had so many dishes, I had to store them in the closet. Who needs a set of 12 when there were only 4 of us? I suppose we could have guests, but no, I didn’t need a set of 12. I may have had more, I really don’t recall, all I know is, I wanted them, I needed them.
As Laura listened, I answered my own question, I needed them, in my feeble attempt to fill the holes in my life. I don’t have a husband or a life partner. I don’t have the financial security so many of my friends have. So many holes to fill. No number of coasters can fill that many holes. I reasoned with myself; I only need the four coasters. My folding wood table only seats four and that’s why I would want them. I don’t need them to complete my Christmas tableware set, no one would see them under the bubble glass goblets. Four coasters will do me just fine and I can head home, avoid driving in more traffic and snow and be confident that I will be fine.
Laura reminded me that there are so many people who love me, something I am truly grateful for, but there are so many holes in my life, I’m driven to fill. I’ve come to realize that no matter how many “sets” I buy, the reality is, I’m a hippie. My cabinets are filled with mismatched dishes and Mason jars, instead fine tableware, and glasses. I don’t have a retirement plan or a second home like many of my friends do, the same friends who are blessed to be in solid relationships for 20, 30, 40 years. No, I’m alone, I have a 401K that I still don’t understand how it works, I have a mortgage that most likely, I will not be able to pay off in my lifetime. However, after I set up my new Christmas tableware to take a picture for you all, I realized, one of the throw pillows I bought, matches the tablecloth and I smiled. I have a theme!!!
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
2 Comments
Leave your reply.