Simplicity, is the secret ingredient. This is my motto in life, so I will try to cut to the chase.
The past few weeks have been a nightmare, and not necessarily of my own making…maybe.
So much has happened; the hot weather, the news, and bullying text messages from someone I adore, were the crux of the matter. However, I have a garden, that like my mind, can be a hot mess, but it also brings me peace.
My garden is my tattoo. Many moons ago, my favorite boss, got a tattoo. He told me that they were addicting, you can’t stop at one. That’s how I am with plants and garden decorations. My front yard is deceiving. Since I rarely step foot in it, I have a few tasteful decorations by the front door and three spot lights on the bushes. However, if one is brave enough to venture into the backyard, one is exposed to the true spectacle of my mind. There is an explosion of colors, textures, and of course, in the evening, solar lights! TJ Maxx owes me a debt of gratitude for keeping them in business. My garden features have been collected over the years, but this year, I went a little crazy and purchased numerous pots and decorations from TJ Maxx. Then, of course, I had to fill said pots. I made purchases from a big box shop, but more so, from local ones, which warms the cockles of my heart. If my addiction can keep a small business’ doors open, sobeit.
Mere words cannot express the pain and delight, of working in my garden. No joke, I starting planning and purchasing seeds in February. Researching planting charts, sun exposer, growth height, companion planting, etc. I charted my plan. Some seeds went out in March and I am proud to say, they have finally bloomed! Patience is a virtue and even though I have been told that I have a patience of a saint, I beg to differ. Timing is everything and life is in the details, remember that, please.
My garden is my church. I am a person of faith. I sincerely believe that one must have faith in something more than just oneself. Call it what you like, but please believe in more than yourself, enough said. I have many folks in my life, that I adore, that have no faith, but I tell them that it’s okay, because I have enough faith for at least ten people. I don’t broadcast my faith, but it is true and completely, heartfelt. When I work in my garden, I am at peace. I realize, that I have no control over anything, except how I choose to respond to what is presented to me. So much, too much, has been presented to me in my lifetime, but I choose to believe that all the hardships have allowed me to become who I am. I moisten my eyes frequently, but I feel so much, much more than the average person, for that I say, I feel sorry for you. “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” to quote a famous so-and-so. I have loved so deeply and have been loved so deeply, I am truly blessed.
I love my garden! There, I said I it! It brings me so much joy, torture, and contentment to plant a seed or starter plant (they are my children, as well) and watch it grow. I’m so proud, of all my children, enough said.
My garden is Freedom. Life has taught me, that there are two truths I hold true. The most important things in my life are my children, and my freedom. In the past two years, I have lost my ability to walk freely, but I have discovered, that I can spend hours tending to my garden without pain and, I can ride my bike, like a demon! In my youth, I rode my bike everywhere. Near my home, there is a river. I used to ride my bike there and sit with my pad and pen, and dare to write poetry. I was so damned proud of myself back then, I’m a writer, I would tell myself. However, that dream was dashed with the passing of my mother, a story for another day. I used to ride my bike for hours through the neighboring cities, admiring all the architecture and gardens. Why I never made a career out of that love, I will never know. Yet, in the past few months, I have taken to riding my bike again. When I ride my bike, I feel no pain, I do not feel fear, I am free. My God, how I love the feeling of the wind kissing my cheeks, as I cruise though the neighborhoods of my youth. I am young again, as I zig-zag through the streets I used to dream of owning a home on. So many dreams, so many hopes and aspirations, but the reality is, I am where I am supposed to be…I love my home. Being in this house gives me the freedom to realize my memories of my childhood. I am home.
I am so blessed, I truly am. I feel, so much. I have, so much. I have nothing, but gratitude, for it all. My family, my friends (the family I choose), my garden, are everything. If you’re ever in the neighborhood, even if I’m not home, feel free to step into my backyard and experience the wonder of my brain, my life, my love, my garden. It is there for all to wonder, what the hell was she thinking? It’s all good, I love you too.
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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