Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD is a real thing, don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise. I feel so much better when that bright orb in the sky reveals itself. No matter the outside temperature, my mind goes to my happy place as I peer out the window, basking in its glory. The weather of late has taken its toll on me. Not only have I been SAD, my skin is flakier than a state fair blue ribbon pie crust. No matter how many times I apply liberal amounts of emollients, my knuckles crack, and my skin peels. My joints and muscles ache and all I want to do is sit still and pray for the winter season to pass.
While discussing my situation with a friend, he recommended one of those SAD lights. I told him that I may have one in the treasure trove that is my basement. However, it is so old, I fear it may sear my flesh or better yet, explode and send shards of glass into my face. That wouldn’t be good. No, I think I should stick to remedies that may not cause irreparable damage, something more in line with my happy place, like gardening.
Last week, I decided to indulge in a little day drinking while sitting at my tiki bar table, listening to the CDs I used to play back in my massage therapy days and look through my heirloom seed catalog. I was enjoying myself so much, I decided to send out a group text message announcing my activity. I was amazed at how many responses I received and realized that my text message was like sending out a message in a bottle. Honestly, I do not believe that the people who graciously responded have any idea how lonely I’ve become and they were not responding because, in the words of Sting, I’m not alone in being alone. No, instead, I think they were being kind.
My little S.O.S. to the world was giving me a voice, an audience, to what I was experiencing in that moment, a sense of serenity in who I have become. I’m a plant lady, a garden girl and for $54 I was able to order myself I heaping amount of hope in the shape of seed packets. The idea of choosing seeds for plants that are foreign to me, was an exciting new adventure. My mind’s eye saw me outside, in the warm sun, dropping seeds into the warm earth in hopes that in a matter of weeks, they would reveal themselves, blessing me with the fruits (and vegetables) of my labor.
After I placed my seed order, I peered out the window at my garden beds in the car port and thought, “That would be a great spot for a hot tub”! I began to busy myself with research on a small hot tub, but when I shared this idea with a friend, I came to the realization that I would most likely need a building permit. I don’t do building permits, so I began to formulate a plan B, an inflatable hot tub. Yes, it would work, but it would also mean more work for me, not to mention losing valuable gardening space for the plethora of seeds I just ordered. Nope, I need a plan C.
Plan C consists of a Japanese soaking tub. I love the look of wood, especially in a garden. I did my research and surprising found a very attractive soaking tub on the Walmart website. It was pricey, but I’m worth it. I was taking all kinds of measurements and thought, this is something I can do, until I thought about, how much does this thing weigh? After all, I am entering the chapter of my life that I will be alone, and I will need to be able to do most everything, by myself. 130 lbs? Yeah, no, I don’t think so. Plan D.
Plan D got me thinking about a portable soaking tub. The first ones I spied were reasonably priced, but they were a series of plastic connecting tubes. Nope, I wouldn’t be able to lean on that flimsy pipe to get out of the tub. What else you got? Inflatable, came to mind (it usually does). I can get out of an inflatable pool all by myself. There you go, I got me an inflatable soaking tub for a faction of the cost of the wooden one. Bonus, me being a commitment phobe, if I don’t end up using it like I hope to, it will go to my friend’s little girl this summer, she can use it as a swimming pool.
Today, a week after I sent my message in a bottle in the form of a group text, I issued another one, to a lesser degree, announcing the arrival of my inflatable soaking tub. For the record, it took 20 minutes to fill with hot water, something I can make a commitment to, maybe. My treasure trove basement will require an interior design makeover, but low lighting can also fit the bill. I managed to soak for a whole 25 minutes before heat and boredom forced me to immerge. Yeah, I really need to rethink this soaking tub obsession, but I must admit, my muscles and joints do feel better.
My home office has two walls of windows, facing the north and the west. My plants love this room. Plants that I have owned for literally decades, that merely survived in other rooms, thrive in this one. Sitting here at my desk, looking around, I feel like a woman who owns a home with a conservatory. The plants in this room are a mere sample of what I possess, but they make this room a happy place for me. While trying to decide what image I wanted to accompany today’s blog, I photographed the giant amaryllis I was gifted. It’s stunning, but doesn’t resonate with today’s theme, I’m all about having a theme. No, instead I was able to capture the brilliant sunlight that we are blessed with today. The camera lens of my phone, created a rainbow of sorts, or perhaps, a prism. In frame, is a sign that states, “enjoy the little things”. Yes, I think I shall.
Like text messages, I think my blogs are also a message in a bottle. They may be a S.O.S., or mere observations, but the hope is that even if I cannot reach “100 billion castaways looking for a home”, maybe I’ll reach 10? My intent is, to do some soul searching as I write and to possibly find answers to questions that plague me. I hope to find a little peace of mind, and a happy place where I’m not so SAD anymore, with the added bonus of no fear of seared flesh or shards of glass in my face.
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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