Noticed

I’m working a lot these days, so when I have a day off, I need to make the most of it.  I was already in a good mood this morning because yesterday, a very handsome man that was new to our store, flirted with me.  It’s been so long since I’ve even felt noticed, let alone flirted with.  As his name went round and round my head, I drove home drunk on the idea that he said he would definitely be back to our store.  I’ll let you know if he does come back and I will definitely let you know if he strikes up a conversation with me.  It was so nice to be seen, I felt lighter for the experience.  It’s nice to be noticed.

This morning, I didn’t have to get up as early as I usually do, but I am a creature of habit, so I did.  I laid there wondering about the weather (it’s supposed to rain), but other than that, I knew what my agenda consisted of, because like I said, I need to make the most of my days off.  However, I allowed myself to lay there for a moment and ponder, what was it like waking up when I was a little kid?  I really don’t remember, but I’m willing to bet that I didn’t have a care in the world.  I never did like going to school, but it was a necessary evil and so, I went.  Knowing that I would be able to come home to my mom’s delicious cooking and my sunshine yellow bedroom filled with my treasures, I was relatively happy.  I had no idea that anyone, let alone any boys noticed me.  Decades later, I found out that indeed a couple had noticed me.  I wonder if my life would have been completely different had I known someone “liked” me?  The world will never know, but the mere thought of this truth makes my heart lighter.

I went for a pedicure today.  I was early and as I sat outside their door in the morning light, it reminded me of summer vacations when I was a kid.  I remember it always being sunny and warm, but not too hot.  The building across the street looked like it could possibly be Mid Century Modern and so my mind drifted to a time when my summer days were simple and carefree.  While inside the salon, I noted that it must be MCM as well.  Even some of the décor took me back to a time when I would people watch and notice all the pretty ladies while shopping with my mom, wondering if I would ever be as beautiful as them.  As the women poured in for their appointments, I noticed how beautiful they all were in their own right.  How special we must all feel getting our nails done and that alone makes us feel beautiful.  I know I did, even though I have no one to get a pedicure for, besides myself, looking down at my feet, I thought they looked clean and fresh, even young.  Amazing that they have walked so many miles during my lifetime and still have a beauty all their own.  I don’t know if the other ladies noticed me, but I noticed them.  I felt so proud to be part of the salon ladies, I felt beautiful and light as I stepped out into the world to continue my errands.

Next stop, the grocery store I worked at for close to 16 years.  So much has changed since I left 5 years ago, I really no longer have any connection with the building.  I was feeling so beautiful and light, I was almost floating down the aisles with my freshly pedicured feet and I think people noticed me.  There are folks still working there from my era, some ignore me, others do not.  My name might not be on the tip of their tongues, but they know who I am and smile as we exchange pleasantries.  I even stopped to chat with a salty character I’ve known close to 20 years.  As we were chatting, a younger team member noticed me and shouted out, “Groovy Gail is in the house!”  I felt like a movie star!  How wonderful to be recognized and to be noticed.  I may no longer have a connection with the building, but the people, there are still people I’m connected with and how wonderful it was to experience that moment.

On my way home, I stopped at the drug store (if they still call them that) for a few items on my list.  I believe my lightness continued because complete strangers decided to strike up conversations with me.  Instead of being my usual introvert, I responded politely and even conversed for a moment.  What a wonderful feeling to be seen and considered worthy of their attention.  Even though the conversations were not of any great importance, that momentary connection made me feel so light, almost normal in a time when so much has been weighing me down.  I’m very glad that they noticed me or maybe, it was I that noticed them which signaled an invitation to chat.  Nice.

When I got home, I told my son about the young man shouting out, “Groovy Gail is in the house!” and how wonderful it made me feel.  I like to think that things like that make him proud of his mom.  Proud, because I’ve done things in my life that people not only remember me for, but that they do so in a good light.  I know it makes proud, it makes me feel beautiful and it makes me feel noticed.

I made myself a delicious chicken sandwich for lunch, just like the kind my mom used to make.  As I devoured it, I noticed that the clouds have rolled in.  Maybe we’ll actually get that much needed rain.  The thunder I hear would be an indication that it will be true, but I’m still glad that I watered my garden this morning.  I’m noticing the wind chimes singing to me as the winds pick up. I hear someone mowing their lawn, possibly hurriedly due to the thunder.  I feel like a kid again, on a warm summer’s day eagerly awaiting the coolness of the rain.  Maybe I’ll sit on the front porch to watch the show, just like I did when I was a kid.  I’m so glad that I noticed things like this back then, but more so that I notice them now.  Maybe, it’s my ability to notice such things that gets me noticed?  Or maybe, it’s my pretty pedicure?  Either way, it’s good to be noticed.  Thank you for noticing me.

Mmmm, I can smell the rain, it’s coming!

#thelieswechoosetolivewith