This past week, I celebrated my birthday. It’s been a week of overindulging, but one indulgence stands miles above the rest. I was scrolling through my Facebook homepage, when something caught my eye. It was an advertisement for wall art, not what I’m usually in the market for, but this was an ad I HAD to click on. Grant it, it was first thing in the morning and I had not yet consumed my ritualistic cup of coffee, so my judgement may not have been exactly at its peak. I was in birthday mode, my “It’s all about me!” mindset, but this was really something I couldn’t live without. I whipped out my measuring tape and calculated what size I wanted; nay needed. I barely paused a moment before placing the order, but once I did, I was beyond giddy!
Most folks know about my passion for pink flamingos, palm trees and pineapples, along with most anything Mid Century Modern and Tiki, but only those of the inner sanctum know about my need for Speed…Speed Racer! Our romance began at a very tender age, the American television show first aired the summer of 1967. It’s possible that I began watching it then, since my brothers are much older than myself. All I know is that I was in love with Speed Racer and his girlfriend Trixie did not deserve him. I had plans of marrying him and driving off into the sunset with Speed in his car, the Mach 5, but sadly, those dreams were never realized.
When my kids were young, I discovered action figures. I happened upon one of Speed Racer and I was able to get my hands on a couple more (Pops and Captain Terror), but alas, the Mach 5 escaped me. I had them displayed in my bedroom, in their original packaging, untouched by human hands. I happened upon my youngest trying to open the package to play with my Speed! Fortunately, I stopped him in time and for their safety, they have been living in my mother’s cedar chest for the past 23 years.
I believe the year was 1999 when I decided to go to school for therapeutic massage. A dear friend, one that dwells within the inner sanctum, gave me a greeting card wishing me luck on my new adventure. On the front of the card it states, “Way to Go!!” along side the images of, yes, that’s right, the Mach 5 and the Speed Racer clan (sadly, Trixie’s on the card too). I still have that card; it may be time to frame it.
For the past ten years, I have proudly displayed my Speed Racer refrigerator magnets that I found at an eclectic gift shop. Speed, Racer X (Secretly, Speed’s older brother Rex who is thought to have died in a crash during a car race), his younger brother Spritle and his sidekick Chim Chim are clearly seen by passersby. Trixie was part of the set and I allow her presence, but her face is covered by a carefully angled Christmas card. Yes, the rival continues!
When I made my recent purchase, I decided to ask my kids if they would be interested in reimbursing me and making it a gift from them. My youngest responded with an emoji that I believe depicts LMAO along with a question of where I intended to put it. I told him that I was thinking about getting the guest room painted, or set up a workout area in the basement. Let’s be honest, me working-out? Yes, that idea does deserve the LMAO emoji, so I’m setting my plans on redecorating the guest room.
It won’t be an easy task because one of the walls has quite a sizable crack in it. My youngest believes that he and his friends can do the job, so I went price shopping for supplies this morning. I went early to avoid crowds. However, while at Home Depot, I ran into my old friend, anxiety. It didn’t happen right away, I was fine while in the garden center and yes, I bought a plant, was there any doubt that I would buy a plant while at Home Depot? Anxiety ran into me as I looked at the painting supplies and realized that the supplies alone would be about $350. Then I circled back around to look at window treatments and rugs, and the tab for redoing this one room kept rising. Then, anxiety’s second cousin-once removed stepped into the picture, self-doubt. What was I thinking that I could do this? Why do I have a house? I can’t take care of a house! This was all a horrible mistake. I should have never bought the Speed Racer artwork to begin with. My kid was right to send me the LMAO emoji, I’m a joke.
As my throat tightened, I made it back to my car and home. I slowly walked up the stairs and drank a glass of water with added trace minerals, something I swear has been a game changer for me, but maybe not. I was able to hold back the tears, but my throat was still tight. What a fucking basket case I am, and I thought I was doing better…not.
Sitting in my garden, I decided to get the plant I bought into one of the garden beds. That led to me doing some weeding and that led me to discovering that I had grown a huge zucchini! I laughed out loud as I picked the beast and thought, “Is that a zucchini in your garden, or are you just happy to see me?” Once again, Gail’s Groovy Garden saved me from myself. I turned the beast into four loaves of zucchini bread, baking is a form of therapy for me, and then, I took a nap. Like a little kid having a tantrum, I had worn myself out.
Feeling rested, I decided to write. I know this isn’t some awe-inspiring piece, but writing is another form of therapy for me, one that allows me to share my silly fears and dreams with others that might find them interesting. My Speed Racer wall art should arrive tomorrow, hopefully it will bring me the joy I experienced while ordering it. I have a few paint samples for the walls of the guest room, now, I need to find the strength to move forward with my idea of redecorating it, maybe even digging those action figures out of the cedar chest and allowing them to bask in the light of day, I’m fairly certain my youngest will leave them alone this time.
I may need to let go of my childhood dreams of marrying Speed, that bitch Trixie can have him, but I can still thrive on the thrill of seeing his image in my home. Not only will I have the art work, the figurines and the framed card of encouragement, I recently received a Speed Racer commemorative book from a team member that I can put on its own bookstand. Now, if I can get my hands on a Mach 5…, but no Trixie, fuck that bitch! I will always have the Need for Speed!
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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