About ten years ago, I remarked that the older I get, the more makeup I need to wear to look “natural”. When I was at Columbia College for theatre and film, I took a makeup class. One of the assignments was to make myself look like an old man. All the shadowing, especially for the wrinkles, had to be amplified for theatrical standards. I built the beard layer, by layer and in the end, I was happy with the results and if memory serves me, I received an “A” for my efforts. Nowadays, I do the reverse and add highlights to my wrinkled brow and nasolabial fold. I carefully press the light beige powder around my delicate eyes, paying careful attention to the dark circles I inherited from my mother. And, instead of building a beard, I use a lady shaver to gently remove the ever-increasing facial hair I am experiencing. I was once told by a makeup salesperson that I should never leave the house without applying mascara, a very valid comment. The lack of color in my eyebrows and eyelashes is rather disturbing. I wouldn’t want to carelessly scare small children on the street, so more times than not, I do wear makeup. To me, I see a world of difference, with and without it. At night, I look in the bathroom mirror before washing my face, and I see a nice-looking girl. After removing my makeup, I see my dad, ewww. Not that my father was unattractive, but…you get my point.
I am quickly approaching a milestone birthday, one that I am glad to see. Ten years ago, was when I received my emergency pacemaker. In my estimation, I’m living on borrowed time. I remember my mother telling me that her mother had been out shopping and dropped dead on the street. Odds are, that would have been my fate if I hadn’t followed my instincts and insisted on being seen by the doctor immediately, the doctor who had diagnosed me with allergies and sent me on my way with a prescription, the same doctor that noted my pulse was 40 that faithful day and didn’t bother to note that on a previous visit it had been 70, yeah, that doctor. Anywho, I’m here to say, I’m very glad that I listened to my instincts and got myself back to the doctor…allergies, my ass.
The older I get, the more I listen to my instincts, I believe in myself and more importantly, I trust myself. I’m not saying that I don’t make mistakes, I make some serious ones, on a regular basis, but I have learned how to turn myself around more quickly and get myself out of a jam. With all the driving I’m doing these days, I have learned to fall back and let the other nutty drivers go as fast as they want. Go around me bigshot, I really don’t care. I don’t have anywhere to be, no one to get home to, be my guess and be the one the cops are keeping an eye on. I’ll be over here, in the righthand lane, maybe center, or if I’m feeling Speed Racer-ish, the left lane, but I still won’t be weaving through traffic doing 90 plus because, well…those days are over.
I no longer feel the need to be in a hurry and I figure if I’m stuck in traffic, it’s because the universe is protecting me by keeping me out of a situation that would cause me grave harm. I’m also very cautious on the stairs and I don’t work in the dark, that’s something my dad taught me. Turn on a light so you don’t hurt yourself. I lift with my legs, stand up straight, remember to stretch and stay hydrated. I try to get a good night’s sleep, but that still eludes me. At least I’m in bed resting a respectful amount of time, but sleep, yeah, no. I guess I’m becoming an old fuddy duddy, but it is my sincerest goal to hang around for a while longer.
The older I get, the less I have the urge to climb mountains or go snorkeling. I’d rather hold down the base camp and let others tell me about their adventures. However, truth be told, I’ve kind of always been that way. I’m a homebody, I’ve have created a home for myself, not just a place to keep my stuff. I love my home and many people have told me that they sleep better at my home than in their own. I think it has something to do with the energy of this house, and the fact that I don’t’ own anything fancy. This house looks very lived in, not to worry if you spill something, but please do clean up after yourself. You’ll never go hungry or thirty in this house and I’m willing bet that my folks are somehow enjoying your company as well.
The older I get, the more I love to spend time alone, in my garden, front porch or even out and about. I like to live by my timetable, leave when I’m ready, stay only as long as I wish. I know it’s a challenge to believe, but I am an introvert, I don’t like crowds and besides, I’ve been there, done that already. I’ve been to the concerts, movies and plays, the fine dining experiences, and the food festivals. Really, all I hope for in this lifetime is to find a new place to replace my favorite Chinese restaurant that made the best, and I mean the best pot stickers in the world! I miss Mu, no one will ever make pot stickers as good as she did, or laugh about my dad and “all his ladies”. Why did she have to retire? I guess I’ll need to make my own.
The older I get, the more I realize that I’m a damn good cook and it’s hard to find takeout that I enjoy as much as my own cooking. It’s hard to find anything I would like to do more than to be home, alone or with a guest and have a fine beverage to go with an amazing homecooked meal. I’d rather rewatch my favorite TV shows than to try and find something descent to watch. Hell, I think I’d even enjoy watching The Lawrence Welk Show, like I used to, with my dad. How did they ever keep those tall hairdos in place? I don’t believe my mother ever wore her hair that way, and that’s just fine by me.
The older I get, the more I realize how much of a good life I have had. I have been truly blessed, in many respects and as I approach the way past the half way mark in life, I can honestly say, it’s been a nice ride. I’ve never been thin, so I’m not longer for my youthful figure. I’ve never been athletic, so what if I can’t lift as much as I used to. I can still belt out a tune like nobody’s business, I can still cook up a storm and plant the grooviest of gardens. I may need to take a little longer to do things, but it’s not a race, it never has been and the older I get, the more I realize that and appreciate life in the slow lane.
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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