Today being Thanksgiving, it’s fitting to write about gratitude. Gratitude is not something we should only focus on this one particular holiday. No, indeed it should be the focus of each and everyday. When we give thanks for all that we have, all that we have experienced, good and bad, it raises our level of vibrations so we may be able to create a better world for ourselves. I know it sounds crazy, but if you Google subjects such as “The Laws of Attraction” and “Abraham Hicks”, you can do a little research and see if this is something that resonates with you.
It was well over a decade ago, when my young boss lady brought my attention to this subject matter. I would be all “woe is me” and she would say, “Cancel Clear!” or “Quit your stinkin’ thinkin'”, meaning I had to change my thoughts because I was creating my own reality. I would pick on her for saying these things to me, but I knew she was right. Another young woman I had worked with had told me that happiness is a conscious decision. I thought, how profound especially coming from someone so young. These little sayings have stuck with me over the years and have become part of my mantra repertoire along with, “Money comes easily and frequently. I’m good with money and know how to make it grow.” I sincerely believe that little ditty helped me to finally become debt free for the first time in my adult life. From the age of 18 to 40-something, I had debt. From the first credit card, through single parenthood with no child support, my debt grew and grew. There were times I was able to get it under control, but it came right back. It wasn’t until I truly believed in that mantra that I finally found my way out of the viscous circle and now I know better how to manage my finances.
Because of my more recent way of thinking, I now look at life’s challenges as lessons learned instead of punishments. If I were to focus on, “Why do bad things keep happening to me?” bad things would keep happening to me. I realize that bad things happen to all of us, it’s how we respond to them that define us as human beings. For example, when I get stuck in traffic, instead of getting angry, I now choose to believe that the hold up is preventing me from being in harm’s way. I try to look at it as a good thing and become grateful and therefore, more peaceful. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still can be the queen of road rage, but it is less frequent and hopefully, less extreme.
Another example would be all that I went through with the end of my marriage. During that time, I went to a support group through our church, for separated and divorced people. We were told that we were divinely lovable, which helped, but I was so terribly angry at what life was presenting me with. However, when I met people who were in that group who had been divorced for over a decade and still bitter as hell, I was like that will not be me. I focused on forgiveness through prayer. I was told that if I prayed for my ex and his girlfriend that it would be impossible for me to still be angry with them. It seemed like cruel punishment for me, but the more I focused on asking for their wellness, the better I felt and found my way to my own wellness.
I often wonder if I had discovered this way of thinking earlier in my life, if I would have been able to avoid some of the challenges I have had to face, but no matter. I am who I am because of all that I have had to endure. I have what I have because of all of the lessons learned. I’m still trying to put the puzzle together of my life and still wonder why I have had to go through certain situations, but I am less angry or sad about them. I also now see that if I didn’t go through these moments, I wouldn’t have found my way to be able to write about them, something I am enjoying very, very much. I suppose you might say, if everything came easily to me, I may not have been spurred to finally write and know this feeling of satisfaction.
I have so very much to be grateful for. I truly have all that I need. A lesson I learned back when my marriage hit the proverbial fan, was through my lingerie. I love telling this story and it is absolutely true. At that point in my life, I was flat broke, worse than broke because I was drowning in debt. My bras were literally falling apart and I didn’t have any means to buy a new one. I was devastated thinking that I was going to have to walk around like some “bra-less whore”, as my mother used to say. Then, I remembered that I had a box of “skinny clothes”, you know clothes you refuse to give away, just in case you ever get that thin again. I thought, even if I could find one bra in that box that fit me, I would be fine. I dragged it out of the depths of my closet and began my search. Imagine my glee when I did find one bra, just one mind you that actually fit me. I sat there in awe and realized, everything I need, I have. It’s the things that I want that get me messed up.
Looking back at my life, this statement has been more true than not. I need food, clothing and shelter and I have always been provided for. I have navigated my way through a higher education, raising a family and building a career for myself. I was able to have a reliable mode of transportation when I was beyond broke because two guardian angels on earth came to my rescue and gave me the funds to purchase a nice car from a nice man who is still my friend to this day. A man I helped in his time of need and then he reciprocated by guiding me through taking care of an elderly parent by sharing his experiences with his own father. The circle of gratitude keeps going and going, reaching further and further like the rings in a pond when a pebble is dropped in. The pebble doesn’t seem very big, but it’s effect keeps growing and growing.
Most of all, I am grateful for the people in my life, all of the people in my life, even the ones that I wish I didn’t have in my life, because they allow me to appreciate even more the ones that I feel so much love for. I have countless acquaintances that have made me smile or challenged me to be a better person. Hundreds of co-workers that appreciate my work ethics, dozens of family and friends that have supported me and my trials and tribulations throughout my life. Then, there is the handful or two of the people who allow me to truly experience love. The people who love me no matter how unlovable I feel. The people who have stayed by my side, even when I didn’t want to be with me. The same people who wiped away my tears, listened to my woes, repeatedly are the same people who celebrate my victories, big and small. How incredibly fortunate am I to have such folks in my life and to be able to acknowledge their existence.
I could go on and on about how much I have gratitude for, a beautiful summer’s day, a baby’s contagious laugh, a delicious home cooked meal, a memory of my parents singing to each other. Yes, there is so much ugliness in the world, but there is so much more beauty and I choose to focus on the beauty, the moments that lighten my heart, the people who make me smile and dance through life with gratitude. This journey has lead me to you, being able to share my thoughts and stories with friends and strangers alike and hopefully, for a moment, I have touched your life and made a difference. Like the pebble in a pond, I hope the ripples of my gratitude will continue to grow and grow and touch many lives as I continue to share my stories.
On this day of gratitude and everyday beyond, I thank you, thank you, thank you. Be well.
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