“My Hero”

I believe the greatest compliment I have ever received was that I have a lot of integrity. Someone who has integrity is a person who has a moral compass that does not waiver. It also means the state of being whole or undivided, strong, sturdy, reliable. Actually, this word seems to bear a variety of definitions, but I use this term to describe a number of people in my life I have come to depend upon, people who have my best interest at heart, my heroes.

I suppose the first people in my life that demonstrated integrity would be my parents. Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of times they let me down, but at the end of the day, I always had a safe place to live, clean clothes to wear and good food to eat. My dad would work three jobs at times to make certain that his family was provided for and my mom, although she tended to live in her own little bubble, always made certain I had what I needed and a little bit more.

When I was twelve, I was into skateboarding. I know right, me on a skateboard, but I did it. Not well mind you, but I did skateboard. I remember my folks getting into a heated argument at the grocery store because my mom wanted to buy me a magazine about skateboarding that cost like $6 and my dad was dead set against spending that kind of money on something so foolish. In my defense, my mom said, “She’s finally showing an interest in something and I’m going to get it for her.” I really didn’t need the magazine, but I thought it was pretty cool of her to do that for me. In her odd way, I think she always had my best interest at heart, but well…

There was this time that I had a teacher sexually harassing me. Without going into the details, I have to say, he never touched me, he just messed with my mind. He would get within an inch of me and whisper in my ear, “You can’t say anything, I didn’t touch you.” Well, I told my mom about the problem I was having with this teacher and she went to meet him. Afterwards she said, that she didn’t know why I was so upset, he was kind of cute. I was like, “Mom, he’s a married man with kids, he shouldn’t be talking to me that way!” I’ll never understand my mother’s delusion, but I asked someone else to help me.

Enter the best teacher I have ever had. My mom wasn’t going to do anything to help me, so I asked my favorite teacher to help. Mr. H. was already my hero, but I told him what was happening and he put a stop to it. For years I would go visit him and tell him about how my life was going. He always made me feel like I was doing okay, no matter my countless blunders, that was priceless. We exchanged Christmas cards till his passing and I have kept some of my homework that he graded. An A+ from Mr. H., I should probably frame it.

Many years later, I told the story of the abusive teacher to my dad and he asked, “Where was I when this was all happening?” It was then I realized, I had never told him. I don’t know why, but I hadn’t until that moment. I had never thought that he would come to my rescue, but I guess he would have. Dad also came to my rescue when my marriage hit the fan. He was willing to do anything I needed to feel safe, even if it meant selling the house and getting the hell out of dodge. My dad… yeah he let me down sometimes, but then again, he kept a roof over our heads till the very end. He didn’t desert me or my children, unlike their own father. Even though he was a scoundrel at times, my dad’s moral compass guided us to safety.

My brother, the one that shares the same birthday as me, we have had our share of differences over the years, but he has helped me countless times with car issues or fixing something in the house. However, his best assist was teaching me how to ride my bike. I had a green classic Schwinn Sting Ray with a banana seat and high-rise ape handlebars and I couldn’t ride it for nothing. One day, my brother decided to help me and he ran up and down the block with me over and over again until he was exhausted. I was hopeless, but he didn’t give up on me. One more try, he ran and ran with me screaming, “Pedal, pedal, pedal!” Out of fear, I did what he said and then, he let go and the rest as they say, is history. I learned to ride a bike that day because he didn’t give up on me. I rode that bike and the others that followed on so many adventures and near-death experiences that I would not have had if he didn’t give me that one final push. Thanks bro.

Over the years, I have had so many wonderful people come to my rescue. Even though I have always felt like I am a group of one, I have also been blessed to receive the help I need, whenever I was brave enough to ask for it. I have an amazing lawyer, who had also been a high school teacher of mine. He always guides me to safety, without judgement and sometimes without a fee. Wills and real estate are his bread and butter, but kindness, patience and integrity are his specialty.

I have a saint of a mechanic who has helped me at every twist and turn of my turbulent life’s story. He helped me keep my beater of a car going until the faithful day my son killed it and when it came time to buy a newer car, I brought it to him for inspection first. When he said, “Gail, if you buy this car, you won’t have to worry ever again.” I cried. I really needed to have some peace of mind, so I signed on the dotted line because I trusted his integrity without doubt.

I have an old school chum that on occasion has offered to teach a certain someone in my past a lesson. Although I am very grateful that he feels the need to come to my rescue, I am more impressed with the integrity he shows when I respectfully decline his offer. Instead, I greatly appreciate his willingness to listen, to give his honest opinions about the choices I am making and more recently, of my writing skills. I have known him for close to 50 years, but I have only had his ear to bend for the past few. On occasion, his insights have been life altering and I hope he never doubts how much I value them. A few months ago, we were walking through the old neighborhood at night and he shared a childhood story with me that I had never heard before. He spoke of how he guarded his then girlfriend from another young man who had interest in her. As we walked by her childhood home, I swear his shadow changed from that of a middle-aged man to one of a young valiant lover. His stride lengthened as he walked tall past his former flames home. How wonderful I thought, to love so deeply that even to this day, he felt protective of her honor. I know his wife of a gazillion years is blessed to have him by her side and I am blessed as well to know that he would be willing to visit a certain someone if I asked, but I won’t. My hero.

I’ve had a handful of friends who have doubled as therapist, but when I needed professional help, I have been blessed to have found a hero in a young man who has patiently steered me where I’ve needed to go and where I have never dared to go previously. Not only has he kept me safe while sharing my deepest darkest thoughts, he has guided me to helping myself. He has persistently urged me to write this blog, but that is not where it ends. He has said that my sessions are very entertaining and that folks would enjoy them. Continuing on the path of “marketing my own personal brand”, due to his integrity and skill as a therapist, I have embarked on a new adventure.

The universe led me to a “meet up” in my own neighborhood and that “meet up” has led me to another man with integrity that is willing to freely share his knowledge, guidance and support to take my creative whims, “my personal brand” to the next level. It’s in its infancy, but I am now working on Stories by Groovy Gail, the podcast.

I have no idea when I will be ready to launch this new venture, but I know with the utmost certainty that I will be able to achieve my goals because of the countless people in my life who continually help me navigate my journey with the aid of their moral compasses. I am honored to know that many people consider me to be a person of integrity, but more so I am honored to have in my life, people who share that trait, people with a moral compass that does not waiver as well. I have people in my life that are strong, sturdy and reliable, people who are honest and protective of my best interest. These people are my heroes and I thank them.