I have reached a pivotal turning point in my life. I’ve always been a good girl, do as I’m told, take care of things. Yesterday was no exception, I took care of all the items on my “to do” list. I took care of legal matters, car repairs and household chores, but I also took care of something that’s been on my “to do” list for a very, very long time.

Since I can remember, I’ve enjoyed writing. At one point of my life, I entertained the idea of being a screenwriter. However, a series of life’s events took me down a different path. I have continued to write via letters (back in the day) and emails, but nothing formal.

A year ago, I began seeing a therapist. Initially, it was for the difficulty I was having with a family issue. However, two months later, my nine year relationship with my boyfriend ended abruptly and it was very fortunate that I was already in therapy. I now had an inconceivable amount of “stuff” I had to process.

As our weekly sessions continued, it became evident that I had a lot to say and that writing was a solid outlet for me. My therapist suggested that I start a blog, but my fear and lack of confidence shook off the idea. Several months later, he recommended a book to me that talks about “cashing in on your passion” and “developing your own personal brand”. It’s a book about how to start a website, blogs, podcasts, etc. I heard his suggestion, but did nothing about it.

My therapist kept suggesting the book and that I start writing. He would say, “Wouldn’t it be worth it, even if you helped just one person?” Me, being the good girl that I have always been, agreed that it would be nice to help people. As the months rolled on, he kept suggesting that I read this book and start writing a blog and wouldn’t it be worth it if I helped, even just one person, but I did nothing.

Last month, my persistent therapist sent me a link to purchase the book, so I finally bought it and instead of it sitting on a pile of other partially read self-help books, I actually read it, cover to cover. It laid out a step-by-step plan on what I needed to do. It gave me an actual “to do” list that seemed feasible for me to accomplish.

A few days ago, I actually began researching a possible domain for me to purchase. My nickname for the past two decades has been Groovy Gail, so I looked for that. Unfortunately, it was already taken. Of course, I took it as a sign that I shouldn’t do this, how crazy of me to even think that I could do it, what was I thinking. I told this to my son and he suggested that I look for something more specific like, “storiesbygroovygail”. Being a good girl, I listened to my son’s suggestion and found that it was available.

The next step was actually purchasing it. In a nutshell, it was a mind numbing experience. Anything to do with computers stresses me out and this was no exception. I narrowed my purchase down, but I was too distraught to press the button and buy it, so I decided to sleep on it.

Of course, sleep did not come. Instead, I sobbed and sobbed thinking about how IF I did this, how everything would change. I felt like I was dying and saying goodbye to my life as I had known it. However, if I didn’t do it, I would probably regret it for the rest of my life. To make matters worse, if I didn’t do it, what sort of example was I setting for my children?

I sent a series of text messages to my other son who lives in a time zone where it is two hours early than here, being a good girl, I didn’t want to wake him with this issue. I wrote about how scared I was about making this decision. I told him that I was crying so hard that I felt like I was dying. Well, that prompted him to call me. By the end of the conversation, I was calm and exhausted, but I knew what I had “to do”.

Yesterday, I bought the domain of storiesbygroovygail.com and I started a Facebook page. I sent a limited amount of invitations to like the page, but I did it. I received a message from one of the invites and I told him that I had done this at the urging of my therapist. I told him that my therapist had asked me, “Wouldn’t it be worth it, even if you helped just one person?” Then it finally dawned on me, after all the times my therapist had said this to me, maybe that one person is me.

I saw my therapist last night and I told him this story. I asked him if that was what he had meant all along. He looked at me and simply nodded his head, yes.

Before the session ended, I told him that I had a whole new respect for him. Wow…just wow. I’m the “one person”. Let the “help” begin.

#thelieswechoosetolivewith