“Good morning, hope you have a fun day!”, followed by a smiley face and a coffee cup emoji, are what greeted me this morning. I thought about that statement and responded, “I’m beginning to forget what fun is, but I manage to keep up on my chores.” A very true statement, indeed. I received another good morning gif from another friend wishing me an awesome day, to which I responded, “I’m going to try. I need to get a few groceries, do batch cooking and try to write.” I also told this friend about the “fun” challenge I was faced with. I received gif of a man doing a silly dance with the instructions to “do a quick dance, gets the blood flowing.” I said how I was lacking motivation and received another gif, “You can do it!” It took a moment, maybe two, but somehow, I managed to drag my “Eeyore” ass to the center of my living room and did a silly dance…it made me smile and I thanked my friend for helping me do so.
Fun. What exactly is fun? It means so many different things to different people, during different times in our lives. I used to have fun going to the basketball games in high school and running the scoreboard, so I could watch the man of my dreams play. He didn’t even know that I existed, but I had so much fun watching him run back and forth in those little shorts of his. In college, I had fun working on plays, building sets and doing makeup. I felt like I was part of a community and living the dream of becoming “someone”, but that fun usually ended with me being a drunken mess. I had fun doing lots of things with lots of different people, which usually cost me lots of money and racking up credit card debt to boot. Fortunately, I broke that pattern in my forties and found different ways to have “fun”.
According to Wikipedia, “It has been suggested that games, toys, and activities perceived as fun are often challenging in some way.” and I tend to agree with that statement. Poker nights were a big deal for a large portion of my life and I always had much more fun when I was winning. However, I felt like a winner no matter how poor a hand I was dealt because I was surrounded by people who had my best interest at heart. Being a single mom was challenging and sometimes, gut wrenching, but I did have fun being a mom, a scout leader and a daycare provider. I truly believe that nothing worth having is easy and that goes ten-fold, when it comes to kids, but I had fun with my kids and the kids in my charge (Oh, the stories I could tell, but that’s another blog). Truth be told, I had a lot of fun with John the Pilot, A LOT! Which is probably why I turned a blind eye to all the red flags right in front of my face. However, when the relationship ended in flames and I was told that the odds were against him paying me back, even a dime of the money he owed me, I told my lawyer that escort services for nine years would have cost me more, so, I actually got a good deal. I had fun, no matter the cost.
I used to have so much fun going to the movies, plays, restaurants and parties. I loved going site seeing and shopping with friends, but these days, I can’t. And, quite honestly, I’m okay with that. What I love doing, more than anything, usually revolves around grocery shopping, cooking and writing. Early on today, I decided that day drinking was on my agenda. Was there a repercussion? Ah, yes because my pot roast started to burn when the liquid ran too low, but you know what? I had so much fun saving it, improvising and I dare say, improving it I was okay with the challenge. I also made a big pot of soup in the Le Creuset my dear chef friend gave me (she may have changed careers, but she’s a fucking chef, whether she likes it or not). In between cooking and doing dishes, I watched sit-coms and drank wine and yes, I had fun!
I will always love eating, as one can plainly see by looking at me, but I more so love cooking! Putting a simple soup together in minutes is a rush! I know what I’m doing, I feel safe and confident in the kitchen and I love grabbing a little bit of this, and a bit of that and making something that is delicious, nutritious and satisfying. Then, to take my “fun” to a higher level, I took a picture of my soup and now I’m writing about it. Am I a little tipsy, okay, you got me, but I did have fun today, all by myself, doing something that challenges me yet makes me feel confident and the icing on the cake (pun intended), I wrote about he whole experience and published it on the webpage I own. The thing is, it’s awesome if someone reads it, but even if they don’t, it’s okay, because I’m having fun putting my thoughts out there.
This blog is like me creating a big pot of soup. A little bit of this, some of that and a whole lot of whatever I feel like at the moment. How much more fun can one girl have? Okay, okay, I still wish I had someone wonderful to share my life with, but the reality is, I have to make myself happy. I am my own knight in shining armor and I’m okay with that. If someone comes along, if someone finds me, cool. However, I’m not going out there looking anymore because I have all the ingredients, I need to make a big pot of fun all on my own. If someone wants a bowl, let me know, I’m always happy to share. It reminds me of rock soup, a story for another day, but in the end, it’s all about community, food and fun!
#thelieswechoosetolivewith
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